Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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