Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
