This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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