R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just want nice things and good sex
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
