we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
