Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
