Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
