I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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