So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize