i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
