Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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