Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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