At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
