I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
