Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
