He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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