Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just found puke in my bra..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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