dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
