she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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