we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
