Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
