Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
