So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
