drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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