That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
