the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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