My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
