I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
God I need to hump something, right now.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
