She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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