Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was confusing and full of hummus
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
