I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
