Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
