I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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