sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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