i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
