i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
