Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize