He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
