As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
