I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
