he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
