What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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