My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
