Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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