I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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