Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
