when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Are we still banned from the library?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize