I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
