Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
