Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
