So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
