well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize