I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
