Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
