ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize