their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
