so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
