please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
