VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
