ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
