nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
