What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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