Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
