I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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