how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
