Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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