ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
