Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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