I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He? As in you personified your dick?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
